I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
