you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize