walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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