New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
