we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
