yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
