if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize