We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
