Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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