So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize