I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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