When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
