who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
