so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
