just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
