so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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