Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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