I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
