o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
