If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize