it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
