I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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