if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
