if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
