Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
