wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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