Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
