I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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