I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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