she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think my vagina is haunted
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
