Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
