my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
