she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
