"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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