it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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