is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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