Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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