Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
