I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
