Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
