Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
