why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
