This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
should my penis look like a turkey
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
