I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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