Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize