I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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