we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
