I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
