She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
