I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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