You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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