You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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