TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize