I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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