If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
