She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
this is an emotional support booty call
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
