i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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