So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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