Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize