I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
