Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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