oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
