just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
