no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
