Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
