Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
